Pineapple UpsideDown Murder
by Kkarrie
Summary: Shawn, Gus and Lassiter witness a robbery of a convenience store. To protect them the FBI places them in Witness protection.
1. Chapter 1

"I still don't understand why I have to be here Shawn" Gus' worried voice hit the police psychic's ears as he looked around for clues.

"Because Gus, every good detective had a sidekick. Holms and Watson, Tintin and Snowy, those two guys from that silent movie you watched."

"You mean The Little Tramp? Shawn that is Charlie Chaplin, an American film icon" Shawn however wasn't listening to Gus. He was moving his hands over the coffee table sitting in the middle of the house. The house they were in wasn't abandoned. The owner had disappeared a couple days before and her neighbors had just called the police to report it. Detectives Lassiter and O'Hara had naturally been assigned to the case, but Shawn had snuck over a little early to check the place out.

"I feel as if she left in a great hurry." Shawn said his voice mysterious.

"Cut the crap Shawn, Lassiter and Juliet aren't even here." Gus said carefully stepping around a pile of magazines scattered on the floor.

"You're right Magic Head, but I've found that pretending to be psychic has actually sharpened my psychic powers." Gus snorted in laughter. Shawn ignored him and continued looking around the living room. He wandered over to where the front door was looking at a picture on the wall. He looked back and forth from the picture to the answering machine.

"What is it?" Gus asked coming over to Shawn. Shawn was looking closer at the answering machine.

"What is up with those magazines? Bridal ones, baby ones and the typical old lady fare of Home and Garden. And why on earth would someone have an answering machine and no tape in it?" he said popping open the cassette holder to show Gus an empty machine. He opened the drawer on the table. Inside was a tape for the machine. Shawn picked it up and then opened the hall closet. "Ah ha! I solved it." He set the cassette on the table.

"Are you going to tell me what it is Shawn?" Gus asked.

"Of course not you need to wait until the big finale when Jules and Lassie-Face get here"

"Which is gonna be any minute if we don't get out of here" Gus said checking his watch. He pulled Shawn out the door. They had reached the middle of the driveway and Shawn was arguing with Gus.

"Hey c'mon we haven't even checked out her pantry. Maybe she's one of those old lady types that makes brownies all the time." Gus paused momentarily tempted by the thought of triple chocolate brownies. This was enough time for a maroon police car to pull into the driveway. Detective Carlton Lassiter got out of the driver side and his partner, Detective Juliet O'Hara got out of the passenger side.

"Spencer what are you doing here?" Lassiter barked his voice full irritation.

"Funny you should ask that Lassie, because I was just wondering the same thing." Shawn said then paused and rephrased. "Only I was wondering what you and Jules were doing here instead of me and Gus. I know what Gus and I were doing here."

"We got a call some punk kids were in Mrs. Cardale's house, although now that we're here it just appears to be you two" Lassiter snarked back. Gus shot Shawn a look, he hated being caught doing something wrong. Shawn however was in his element, getting out of trouble.

"Relax Lassiter. My psychic visions are always strongest when there's recently been a birth" He closed his eyes and then began to walk towards the house. Juliet rolled her eyes at Lassiter, but her curiosity got the better of her and she began to follow Shawn. Lassiter mumbled something about murder under his breath and followed too. Gus once again found himself in Mrs. Cardale's house amidst the heap of magazines on the floor.

"Shawn what is this all about?" O'Hara said her patience growing thin. Shawn held up his hands and then as if they were leading him walked about the room until he reached the answering machine he had touched not 5 minutes before.

"The magazines on the floor have obviously been upset by somebody and no one in this room is that big of a klutz, except maybe Lassiter after a few martinis." Lassiter cleared his throat and Shawn whipped his head around smacking it on the wall. There was a loud thunk and the picture fell from the wall onto the floor. The glass shattered and Lassiter made a noise of irritation. Shawn bent down to pick the picture up. "No frets Lassie, my head will be back to normal in a few moments. He showed them the picture. In it were three women, one older and two younger. "Mrs. Cardale isn't missing. She's gone to visit her daughter who has just had a baby or she's gone to the elopement of her second child. The spirits aren't being very clear on this one." Juliet shoved Shawn out of the way so she could examine the answering machine. "Now, now Jules there's no need to get physical, at least not yet" Spencer winked at her. She ignored him and picked up the tape from the table where Shawn had left it. She put it in the machine pressing the play button

_*Hello Mrs. Cardale this is Ralph at Ed's Dry Cleaners your dress is already to be picked up. Thanks.*_

Lassiter ground his teeth impatiently. The next message came on.

_*Mom! I know you just let the machine answer most of the time, but my water just broke and Doug is taking me to the hospital. We're at St. David's please come!*_

A woman's panicked voice came through the machine. Juliet looked up at Lassiter.

"St. David's that's like an hour from here." She said. "I'll have them send a squad car over." She started to pull out her cell phone.

"No need to do that Jules" Shawn piped up. "We can all check it out when we take her this suitcase that she obviously forgot." He grabbed a wheeled suitcase out of the closet near the door. Lassiter groaned along with Gus.

"Shawn I have to be to work at 4." Gus complained.

"Exactly and it's noon now so you have plenty of time to drive us there and back." Shawn said

"Why does he get to drive" Lassiter griped. They argued about who would get to drive for probably 20 minutes and then the four of them found themselves in Gus' car with Shawn and Juliet scrunched in the back making their way down the highway.

"Why is there no leg room in your car?" Juliet asked Gus as she tried to make herself comfortable.

"Because" Gus snapped back irked that he was driving. "The suitcase from Mrs. Cardale's is in the trunk and Shawn we didn't even look for brownies."

"Brownies?" Lassiter growled from the passenger seat "Always thinking about your stomach at a time like this."

"Lassie you of all people should know that nothing is more delightful then the warm gooeyness that is a chocolate brownie" Shawn said. Lassiter didn't say anything and kept his eyes focused on the road ahead as if willing the car to move faster. The faster they dropped the damn suitcase off the faster he could go home and be away from these people for a while.


	2. Chapter 2

The long drive was over none too soon for Lassiter. He got out of the car at the hospital and stretched his legs. Before he could even bark orders at someone to get the suitcase Spencer and O'Hara were inside dropping it off. They came back out Spencer had one of his ridiculously happy smiles plastered to his face.

"Her daughter had a baby boy" he said "and they were so thankful they're naming the baby Shawn" Lassiter groaned.

"This is the last time you get to bring that up. Now let's get going I'd like to be home for dinner" Shawn did some kind of twisting dance move as he got into the backseat of the car.

"Lassie I was thinking we could stop at a 7-11 on the way home. I am parched and I'm pretty sure I could use a big gulp"

"I hear that" Gus said from the driver's seat. "Are you thinking Dr. Pepper Shawn?" Lassiter pinched the bridge of his nose as the two friends started their usual banter.

"Only if Dr. Pepper hasn't been kidnapped by Mr. Pibb. Mr. Pibb may try to take his place but I will always know which is which."

"Spencer I will kidnap you if you don't shut the hell up" Lassiter snapped ready to gag and handcuff the psychic.

"Technically Lassie it would be Shawn-napping because I am not a kid"

"Oh look! A gas station" Jules said interrupting the conversation before her partner snapped and Gus would have to explain to his company why there were psychic pieces all over his car. All four of them got out, Lassiter only because otherwise Spencer would have had to climb over him to get out. Something he tried and almost succeeded before Lassiter got out.

"Alright, make it quick." He snapped following the other three into the convenience store. Shawn and Gus headed for the soda fountain and Jules made her way to the bathroom. Lassiter grabbed a bottle of ginger ale out of the cooler. They all paid for their drinks and waited for O'Hara to come out of the bathroom.

"It takes girls forever in the bathroom" Gus observed taking a sip out of his 36oz drink.

"Don't underestimate the female psyche" Shawn warned him. "She could be suffering from some horrible disease and is too afraid to tell us.

"I'm suffering from a horrible disease" Lassiter mumbled. Shawn was just about to reply to him when two masked men came through the door.

"Everybody put your hands in the air!" one of them yelled firing his gun into the ceiling. Lassiter made to reach for his gun but the other man was in his face with a gun pointed at him.

"Don't even think about it" he said his voice slightly muffled behind the skimask he was wearing.

"Put all the money in the bag" the first one yelled at the clerk. Shawn and Gus were a little panicked not knowing what they should do. The clerk behind the counter moved slightly and this distracted the robber. This allowed Lassiter to whip out his pistol.

"Police put your hands in the air!" Lassiter yelled. Once he yelled all chaos in the room broke loose. Shawn and Gus ducked behind one of the shelves that held the snacks and random groceries. They couldn't really see anything but they heard a shot and then the door chimed. Then the bathroom door opened and Juliet came around the corner. "Where's Lassiter?" Shawn and Gus slowly stood up and looked around the see the clerk behind the counter on the phone with the police. The one robber was lying on the floor knocked unconscious. Lassiter came into the store only a moment later.

"I chased him and he got away, but I clipped him in the leg so he shouldn't get too far" He said a little out of breath. O'Hara nodded and put her cuffs on the remaining robber.

Several hours later the four would be heroes found themselves sitting in Chief Vick's office. Vick was sitting behind her desk and stack of papers in her hand. Juliet was the first to speak up.

"What's going on Chief? I thought all the department needed was our statements until the trial." She said her voice full of confusion. Vick looked up from her paperwork taking a deep breath.

"That's all they needed from you Detective. I'm afraid I need to ask you to leave while I talk with them" she motioned to the three men who all were now at attention. Juliet left reluctantly. Once she was out the door Lassiter spoke up.

"What is this all about chief?" he said crossing his arms over his chest. Vick cleared her throat.

"The FBI is placing you in protective custody until the trail" Shawn and Gus both made noises of surprise.

"Why?" Gus said "I can't go into protective custody, I have work that needs to be done."

"I'm aware of that Mr. Guster. I'm not looking forward to giving up my head detective for two weeks either."

"Two weeks?!?" Lassiter and Shawn shouted at the same time

"Chief this is ridiculous" Lassiter continued

"Why are they even putting us under lock and key?" Shawn asked. "and why not Jules?"

"Apparently the man you apprehended during the robbery were part of the Flamencos Españoles. They aren't thrilled to have lost one of their important gang members. O'Hara can't testify against them because the only man she ever saw was the one we already have in custody. You three on the other hand were all seen by the man who is on the loose. The one Detective Lassiter chased form the scene. You're being placed into custody because the last time someone was going to testify against them they ended up dead and buried in their own back yard." Vick said grimly. Gus got a look of panic on his face. Shawn started to talk but she held up her hand. "You leave in the morning. I'm sending uniformed officers with you to pack up some clothing and you'll spend the night here in the station" Lassiter started to object. "and that is my final word on the matter" she said glaring at him.


	3. Chapter 3

The sun was just rising above the trees as Agents Parker and Doran leaned against the government issue black SUV in the parking lot of the local supermarket. They were both incredibly bored but you couldn't really tell from behind their aviator sunglasses.

"Any idea who we're watching this time?" Doran asked Parker taking a sip out of her coffee. Parker checked something on the clipboard she was holding.

"It says two civilians, one cop" she said.

"A cop?" Doran said with a slight thread of annoyance in her voice. "They're the worst." Parker nodded.

"They always think they can do our job better." She said watching a small car that had just pulled into the parking lot. It parked close to their SUV and four people got out of the car, three men and a woman. They had already met Chief Karen Vick of the Santa Barbara Police Force. The three men must be their charges. The first one had great hair and was relaxed but was extremely attentive at the same time. The second was very tall and was definitely the cop out of the three. He carried himself like he was in charge of everything. The third man followed behind them all looking extremely nervous.

"Agents" Chief Vick said shaking both of their hands in turn. They nodded.

"Chief" Doran said acknowledging her. "Everybody climb in the vehicle" she said giving orders to the three men. They all obliged. "Don't worry, we'll bring them back alive" she said trying to reassure everyone there. The tall one of her charges, the one who had to be the cop rolled his eyes and gave an exasperated look to Chief Vick, but he climbed in to the backseat of the SUV without complaint. The other two followed him in and then Doran climbed in the back with them. Parker sat shotgun with their driver, an Agent Felix. "All right let's get names down" Doran said taking the clip board from Parker. "Carlton Lassiter" she looked up and the cop shifted in his seat crossing one leg over the other.

"Actually it's Head Detective Carlton Lassiter" he said.

"I'll make a note of that detective" Doran said sarcastically. "Out here you'll do what I say and you won't ask questions" she looked back at her list. "Burton Guster and Shawn Spencer" the black man raised his hand when she called Guster. Spencer was too busy looking around in the car to acknowledge her.

"Dude, Gus these FBI people are going to make us disappear faster then the love child of Waldo and Carmen San Diego" There was a giggle from the front seat as Parker lost her cool for a second. Doran raised and eyebrow and stared at Spencer.

"Keep quiet Spencer" Lassiter growled from his seat. "These agents have better things to do than to listen to your antics" Doran gave Lassiter a small smile but recovered her stony exterior quickly. FBI witness protection agents didn't flirt with the people they were supposed to be protecting.

"Oh Lassie" Spencer said relaxing in his seat stretching his legs out and putting his arm on the seat behind the detective. "You're just mad because the guy you chased got away"

"Shawn……." Gus said trailing off slightly. He was staring at Agent Doran who was still staring at Spencer.

"Mr. Spencer-" she began.

"Please call me Shawn" he said smiling brightly at her. She loathed people who smiled brightly this early in the morning.

"Mr. Spencer" she said again "We're here to ensure that all three of you stay alive until you have to testify in two weeks. These two weeks can be very long or they can go by very quickly. Agent Parker and I will do our best to provide you with everything you might need, but let me assure you I can also take those things away" Spencer smiled at her.

"Did Chief Vick happen to mention that I'm psychic because I'm getting a vibe that you can't really take everything away" he winked in her direction. Agent Parker turned around in the front seat.

"Believe me Shawn she can" she said giving him a grin and a wink. Shawn grinned back and then silence lapsed over the car. They drove for a while Lassiter tried to keep track of time, but he soon fell asleep. His head drooped to the side and finally rested on Shawn's shoulder. A bump in the road jolted him awake.

"What?" he exclaimed snapping his head up and then wincing at the sudden movement.

"Relax Lassiter it was just a pothole" Doran said not looking up from her newspaper. "Felix, please don't hit every single one"

"I won't" he promised giving her a glance in the rearview mirror "we're here anyways." Lassiter looked out the window and groaned as he saw the safe house they'd be using. Because he had been asleep he hadn't been able to see where they were going. The SUV had been parked outside of a cabin in what looked like a secluded woods near a lake.

"Well if this doesn't spell recipe for a horror movie I don't know what does" Shawn said getting out of the car and stretching. Everyone got out of the SUV slowly stretching their cramped muscles and Lassiter even managed to get the crick out of his neck.

"Everything is inside" Parker said leading the way into the cabin. "We'll be able to go over some ground rules and have some dinner" It took no time to get them all into the cabin. The weather was a little cool and it didn't take long for them to feel the chill while standing outside. Felix set about making dinner and Parker and Doran sat their three charges down on the sofa.

"All right here's the deal. We've got three bedrooms, one bathroom and this big living space here." Doran waved around the room. "Now you'll all be sharing a room, unless one of you wants to share with Felix and let me tell you he makes more noise when he snores than a freight train." She made a face as she ran her hand through her hair and continued. "We have two weeks and plenty of food and things. There are movies and games but no internet. You should have left the cell phones at home and I hope you brought some books." Spencer raised his hand. Doran ignored him but Parker smiled at him and he started talking.

"Do we get code names? If so mine get's to be Yellow Snow" he asked his face a picture of seriousness. Doran pinched the bridge of her nose. Lassiter couldn't help but smirk because this time he didn't have to deal with Spencer's random questions.

"No you do not get code names and why do you even want to be called Yellow Snow?" Doran said almost afraid of the answer.

"Because then the cannibals would be told not to eat me." Shawn said. Gus groaned at the bad joke and Parker got lost in a fit of giggles. Even Felix from over by the stove got a chuckle or two out. Lassiter rolled his eyes and then looked at Doran. They shared a dislike for Spencer's constant wisecracking and that would probably be to only thing to keep them both sane throughout the two weeks. Shawn raised his hand again. Doran ignored him again, but he just started talking. "Also Agents, do you have first names or am I going to have to refer to you all as Felix, Parker and Doran for two weeks? ooooo" He got a smirk on his face "I could make up names for you that's always fun"

"I'm Amanda" Parker burst out and if possible her smile broadened.

"Aaron" Felix called from the kitchen area where he appeared to be putting a pizza in the oven.

"Doran" Doran said.

"Doran Doran?" Shawn said "Funny that sounds more like a band than someone's name." he shrugged. "Oh well"

"It's Alex" Doran said sighing a little as she made her admission. Lassiter made a noise. Doran looked at him. "What? You think my name is funny Carlton?" She emphasized his name to get her point across

"No" Lassiter said holding up his hands. "No, I just didn't realize you were that Agent Doran." Doran narrowed her eyes and Lassiter continued. "You have almost more drug ring arrests then there are drug rings."

"You're like a super cop" Shawn said clearly impressed. Felix came over before the conversation turned completely into talking about Doran's arrest record.

"Lunch is ready, it's pizza. I hope you guys like Pineapple and Ham" he said and then everyone else smelled the scent of the pizza wafting over to them. Both Gus and Shawn perked up at the word Pineapple.

"Pineapple you say? The yellow, golden delicious fruit that makes all other fruits rethink their existence?" Shawn said

"Yeah!" Amanda said "I love cooking with pineapple. I can make pineapple upside-down cake, pineapple smoothies, pineapple juice floats and pineapple pancakes" Shawn held up a hand.

"Pineapple Pancakes?" He turned to Gus. "Gus I think we may have already been caught by the gang members and been shot because I think I'm in heaven. Although I didn't know Angels doubled as FBI agents"


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm telling you Lassie it's all about the bait" Shawn said as they carried their fishing poles and tackle boxes back up to the cabin after a few hours of fishing. They'd been at the cabin for a couple of days and Shawn had decided that morning that he was an expert fisherman.

"If it's all about the bait why do Lassiter and I have more fish than you" Doran asked she looked serious but there was a mocking tone in her voice.

"Is that a tease Agent Doran?" Shawn said smiling. "and yes, you may have more fish but in fishing it is all about quality not quantity."

"You are the last person to go on about quality Spencer" Lassiter said shifting the bag so it sat more firmly on his shoulder. They got back to the cabin and walked in. The smell of delicious pineapple upside-down cake was still in the air and Felix was supposedly napping in his room. Gus and Amanda were sitting on the couch with their backs to the door. Shawn walked over to show them his fish.

"Gus look at this totally awesome fish I caught" He held out the fish and then recoiled back from the couch. "What are you doing?" Gus held up something in his hands.

"It's called knitting Shawn, Amanda has been teaching me how."

"But dude, knitting? Are you making a blanket or something like that?" Shawn asked looking closely at the yarn in Gus' hands.

"She said I should start with a scarf and she didn't have any other yarn." Gus said defending the fuzzy blue yarn he was working with.

"Yeah, but c'mon you could have been doing something manly. Like fishing or hunting bears with Lassie and me"

"Bears?" Amanda asked out loud and then the whole room erupted with laughter.

"Spencer I've been coming up here for almost 8 years and there's never been a bear around" Doran said "Now c'mon we have to clean the fish we caught now."

"I only caught one fish and that is all the fish I will be cleaning. I also will be having some of that scrumptious smelling cake" Shawn said wandering around the kitchen with his fish still dangling from his hand. Doran shook her head and headed out to the back porch with Lassiter and the rest of the fish. Felix came down from the loft stretching.

"What's going on?" he asked sleepily

"Gus is making girly scarves and Doran and Lassie are cleaning fish out on the porch and I need cake" Shawn said. He was pouting and he didn't care if everyone knew it.


	5. Chapter 5

Doran grumbled loudly as she headed up the ladder to check the fuse box. The cabin was supposed to be checked for stuff like this and then cleared before she brought anyone out here. Lassiter stood at the bottom keeping the ladder steady.

"See anything?" Lassiter asked trying to keep his hands warm in the cold weather that had cropped up.

"No" Doran said opening the fuse box. "Weird…." She said trailing off.

"What's weird?" Lassiter said

"The fuse wasn't tripped…. It's like someone flipped it on purpose" Doran said flipping it back and blinking as the lights came on. She climbed back down the ladder and looked grimly at Lassiter. "This has never happened before" she said as they went back inside. Right before they got to the door she put a hand on Lassiter's arm. He looked at her questioningly. "Just don't say anything" she said. Lassiter nodded.

"I'm not an idiot" he said. Doran smiled at him.

"No you aren't. I know that" They went inside where Felix, Gus, Shawn and Amanda were huddled around the fireplace trying to light a fire.

"Lassie it is about time" Shawn said his hands shoved under his armpits for warmth. "Do they teach fire starting at cop school?" Gus slapped Shawn on the arm. "Ouch, Gus. I'm only asking because our scout taught skills haven't been helping us start this one." Lassiter rolled his eyes and took the lighter and newspaper from Shawn.

"We don't really need the fire now that the lights are back on" Felix said. Standing up he yawned. "and since we had that late lunch I'm going to head off to bed." Everyone gave a half-hearted wave to the burly agent.

"He's kind of a buzz kill" Shawn commented as Lassiter succeeded in getting the fire started.

"Felix just likes being by himself." Amanda said "I often wonder why he's a witness protection agent if he likes being alone" she shrugged. "I hope they remembered to buy marshmallows for us" Felix and his standoffishness was forgotten as Shawn and Amanda found the stuff they would need to make s'mores. They plopped down in front of the fire while Gus sat in the recliner still working on his scarf. It was now about 2 feet long and had all the trade marks of a first scarf.

"The perfect marshmallow is golden brown with the center absolutely gooey" Shawn proclaimed skewering two fluffy, white marshmallows on the roasting fork. Amanda shook her head and she put her own marshmallows on her own fork.

"Nope, just warm enough to melt. Otherwise they get all over the place."

"You both are nuts." Doran said grabbing one of the chocolate bars and opening it. "A little burnt on the outside, that way you know you've cooked it over a fire" Shawn wrinkled his nose at that thought.

"She's right Spencer" Lassiter said accepting the half chocolate bar that Doran was offering him. "Black on the outside, warm and melty on the inside" Gus looked up from where he was absorbed in his knitting. "Relax Guster I wasn't talking about you" Lassiter said rolling his eyes. He and Doran started talking about firearms and the best way to care for them and Shawn and Amanda started cracking jokes. Well Shawn started telling the most awful knock-knock jokes ever. Lassiter didn't really pay attention until he heard.

"Police"

"Police who?" Amanda said her cheeks burning with laughter from the past 10 minutes of telling jokes.

"Police let me in it's cold outside" Spencer said laughing so hard he fell off the pillow he was sitting on. Everyone groaned at that. "What you guys have better ones?" he asked defending his joke.

"I do" Amanda said taking a drink of the milk they'd grabbed out of the fridge a long time before. She cleared her throat. "Knock-Knock"

"Who's there?" the room chorused. Even Lassiter

"Megan"

"Megan who?" Shawn said before anyone else could. He was leaning forward so far he threatened to fall into Amanda's lap. Amanda looked at him with complete sincerity.

"Stop Megan those knock-knock jokes or I'll knock-knock you!" she laughed out loud as Shawn's face went from one of puzzlement to complete shock to laughter and the whole room started laughing. Even Lassiter managed to crack a smile at Spencer's bemused face. They all stopped laughing as they heard the creak of Felix's door open. His irate face appeared over the railing of the loft.

"Don't you guys know how to be quiet?" he barked at them. Then he waved his arm at them. "I'm going out for a smoke" with that he left the cabin and the rest of the occupants were forced to look at each other. They were doing okay with their suppressed laughter and then Lassiter coughed as his lungs lost the battle. Once Lassiter started coughing the whole room went from nervous titters of laughter to laughing out loud. Doran wiped a tear from her face.

"Oh man, Felix was pissed" she said through her laughter. She was taking heaving breathes. The marshmallows were gone and the graham cracker box had been thrown into the fire by Lassiter. The chocolate was also gone. Doran stood up and stretched grabbing the empty wrappers and plates. She checked her watch. "It's only 9… we could watch a movie" she suggested putting the plates on the counter by the sink. "I think we even have popcorn" she added sounding hopeful as she checked the cupboards.

"It's in the one above there" Amanda said pointing as she got up from in front of the fire. Her face lit up as she got an idea "Why don't we have a pajama party?" Lassie choked on the water he was drinking, but before he could object any farther everyone else had voiced their agreement. "We'll get our PJ's and make some popcorn."

"I think I'm just going to keep wearing this" Lassiter said motioning to the 'casual clothes' that he was wearing. They consisted of khakis and a plaid flannel shirt. Amanda's smile faded a little as did Shawn's.

"Oh c'mon Lassie" Spencer said "We'll let you pick the movie" Lassiter thought about this. If he wore his pajamas he wouldn't have to watch some sappy chick flick the agents were bound to choose, nor would he have to watch a stupid comedy that Spencer and Gus would choose. He sighed.

"Oh all right, but no one comments on the pajamas" he said a note of danger in his voice that dared one of them to say a word regarding his pajamas. Shawn gave him a salute and then bounded up the stairs in search of his own pajamas. About 10 minutes later they all returned to the main room. Shawn was wearing the same pineapple t-shirt he'd been wearing all day but he now wore a pair of flannel sleep pants instead of his jeans. Amanda was clad in matching Mickey Mouse sleep pants and shirt. Agent Doran had a pair of striped sleep pants with a faded police academy t-shirt. Gus was wearing plaid pajamas but you couldn't see them under the matching flannel bathrobe. This was paired with a pair of slippers on his feet. Amanda caught Doran's eye as he came down the stairs and they both giggled silently. Lassiter was the last of them to come downstairs. It was a good thing he'd made them promise to not say anything about his apparel because he was wearing dark green silk pajamas with white trim. A large white CL emblazoned the breast pocket. His hair was wet and combed to the side. He strode from the staircase to the large cupboard where the movies were kept. He rummaged through them for a few moments and held up his choice.

"Die Hard?" Shawn said reading the cover of the box. "Seriously Lassie? It's not even Live Free or Die Hard, it's the first one"

"Spencer I am wearing my pajamas therefore I get to pick the movie. We can watch the other ones some other time." Lassiter snapped putting the movie in. Shawn grumbled about it some more as they grabbed pillows and moved the couch in front of the television. They watched the movie, occasionally Doran or Lassiter would complain about how something wasn't exactly how the rules went, but they were shushed by Shawn or Amanda. Once the credits were rolling everyone snapped out of their movie daze. Doran stretched and looked around.

"Where's Felix?" she asked aloud "I don't remember him coming back in."

"Neither do I" Amanda said looking a little scared but she quickly regained her composure. "Is he out on the porch?" Everyone moved over to the front door. Lassiter opened it and they all looked outside.

"Where did you get that?" Shawn exclaimed pointing at the gun Doran was carrying in her hand. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm an FBI agent protecting you from gang members do you think I wouldn't have a gun within reach at all times?" she snapped at him.

"I don't see him" Gus commented looking around the porch nervously.

"Neither do I" Lassiter added grimly. "He wouldn't have wandered off would he?" Doran and Amanda both shook their heads.

"Felix is a little thick at times but he isn't stupid" Doran said. She shut the door and took command of the situation. "All right, Lassiter you come with me. We're going to go look for Felix. I have another gun you can take. Amanda you stay here with Shawn and Gus." Amanda nodded. Within 10 minutes Lassiter and Doran were back in their clothes and both armed with a gun. "We'll be back soon. If we're gone for more than 20 minutes you know what to do" she said conferring with Parker. Parker nodded.

"Call in the cavalry." She said checking her own weapon. Doran nodded and then went out the door with Lassiter following her. They looked around on the porch for a few minutes.

"He was here" Doran said pointing at the cigarette butts littering the porch. "Felix!?" she called out to no one in particular. Her call was met with only the eerie silence of the woods. "Damn it!" she cursed "C'mon, we better go look around" she and Lassiter made their way through the woods trying to move quietly through the dry leaves that covered the ground.


	6. Chapter 6

"They've been gone for a long time" Gus said as he paced the wooden floor of the cabin.

"It's only been 5 minutes" Amanda said her usually cheery voice full of determination. "Doran knows what she's doing" Shawn nodded.

"Besides, Lassie will save her if she gets into any trouble." He sidled over to where Amanda was sitting on the arm of the couch. He leaned against the sofa as well and slyly put his hand on Amanda's shoulder. He squeezed it a little. "and I'll be here to save you" Amanda smiled

"Thanks Shawn, that means a lo-" she was cut off as something crashed. Shawn was now sitting in her lap. Gus was on the floor next to the lamp that had fallen.

"Sorry guys…." He said picking it up and putting it back in place. Shawn eased himself out of Amanda's lap.

"Be careful next time Butter McButterFingers from Buttersville" he said smoothing his hair. He looked down at Amanda "That could have been really scary if I hadn't known it would be coming"

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"I don't see him at all" Lassiter whispered in Doran's ear. They'd been walking around for almost 15 minutes now.

"Me neither, we'd better get back" she said. They started heading back toward the cabin.

"Has this ever happened before?" Lassiter asked. Doran shook her head.

"Not at this cabin, it's really isolated and rarely used so that's why the agency thought it would be a good place to hide from the Flamencos Españoles gang" They reached the cabin, but before they went inside Doran spoke up. "Let's just check around the cabin one more time" she said. They followed the wall of the cabin all around.

"It's so dark, it makes hard to see anything" Lassiter complained. Doran was about the reply when she tripped over something and fell.


	7. Chapter 7

"Okay now that was something!" Gus exclaimed as all three of the people still in the cabin heard something by the back door. Slowly they all got up and went to the back door that led into the kitchen. Amanda had her gun at the ready and she nodded to Shawn to pull it open. The door opened to reveal Lassiter and Doran standing over Felix's body.

"Lassie you killed him!" Shawn said stepping out of the kitchen to the damp ground outside where Doran was cleaning mud off her hands.

"Shut it Spencer" Lassiter said.

"Amanda go make the call" Doran said her voice grim. Amanda nodded silently and disappeared inside the cabin. "Help me put him in the kitchen" she added motioning to Felix. After moving the body and washing their hands at Gus' insistence. They all ended up in the living room. Doran checked the locks on all the doors and Lassiter double checked them. Amanda came back from making her call.

"They said it'll be an hour before they can get people up here" she said "We just need to hold tight until they get animal control up here."

"Animal control?" Lassiter said "What's that for?"

"Didn't you see the body?" Shawn said his hands were resting on his temples. "I think we should have gone bear hunting earlier instead of knitting scarves"

"Wait! Felix was killed by a bear" Gus said his voice rising higher and higher in pitch. "and now that bear has a taste for blood" his face was nervous and scared. "and now he'll want to eat us" this last statement came out as a hoarse whisper.

"Gus" Shawn said laughing a little "That's only assuming the bear is a male, sometimes they are girls"

"Be serious Spencer" Doran said "We just need to wait it out until the cavalry comes"

"That's the second time you've used the phrase cavalry. Does the FBI really not have the money to upgrade from mounted reinforcements or are we in a trade program with Canada?" Doran didn't reply she was thinking. Shawn waved his hand in front of her face. "heeeelllloooo?" he said "Earth to Agent Doran" she shook her head.

"Isn't it weird" she said still lost in her thoughts. "Isn't it weird that Felix was killed by the back door by a bear and we didn't hear a thing. I mean we should have heard something. Screaming or bear noises, but we didn't hear a thing"

"Maybe he crawled to the porch after the bear killed him" Lassiter said offering a suggestion.

"Yeah Lassie, like the bear killed him and then decided he didn't eat smokers" Shawn said he then fell to the ground. He held his arms out in front of him in a defensive manner. "No! Please!" he shouted "No nessicito pantalones" Then he sat up. "Felix wasn't attacked by a bear, he was almost defenestrated by Senor Pantalones de Fuego"

"Wait what?" Doran and Amanda said confusion clouding their faces.

"I think Shawn means decapitated" Gus said

"I've heard it both ways" Shawn said shrugging. "Either way Felix wasn't attacked by a bear, but killed by the gang members he's been working for this entire time."

"Felix was being paid off by the gang?" Doran said

"It makes sense" Amanda said "He was always in his room, and didn't he bring a Spanish to English dictionary?"

"Learning a second language isn't a crime" Gus said "Especially since Spanish is a good tool to have in the work place" Before anyone could argue or agree with that a gun shot ripped through the room. Everyone ducked down to the floor.

"What was that!?!?!?!" Shawn whisper shouted from his place behind the sofa. "Bears aren't supposed to have guns!" Doran, Lassiter and Amanda all had their weapons out.

"I would bet anything it's the Flamencos, if they killed Felix there's nothing to stop them from coming in here and killing us." Doran said

"The chopper will be here in an hour, I really doubt they have the fire power to deal with that" Amanda said. Another shot rang through the cabin.

"Well, just let them know so they can kill us before that happens." Shawn said.

"Shut up Spencer." Lassiter said "You're probably giving away our position."

"You shut up!" Shawn said panicking a little "You're not the one that looked the guy in the eyes, he knows what I look like and will probably try to kill me first!" Lassiter was about to argue back when Doran interrupted

"Both of you shut it!" she said. She dared to look over the back of the sofa where the five of them had taken cover. She quickly ducked back down. "Damn it's dark, I could only see a couple guys, but there's probably more."

"Why didn't they attack you when you were out looking for Felix?" Amanda asked. Doran shook her head.

"No idea" she said. She checked her watch. "We have another 20 minutes." She started crawling across the floor. "and I'm gonna tell them to book it." She made her way to the closet where all the communication equipment was kept. She grabbed the land line off the hook. She listened into the receiver for a moment and then in frustration threw the thing on the floor. "They cut the lines" Gus fumbled in his pocket for a moment and then tossed something to her.

"Here take that" he said. Doran caught the something. She held up a cell phone.

"Gus this is against the regulations."

"We have crazy Spanish gang members shooting up the living room" Gus said "Use the phone"

"Dude, you get service up here" Shawn said obviously is awe of his friends cell coverage.

"No he doesn't" Doran said hanging up the cell phone. "We're out of the service area." Suddenly the lights went out.

"Perfect" Lassiter grumbled "They're probably the same ones that pulled the switch earlier." While they were all distracted the gang members had managed to sneak around the cabin. All five heads snapped around as the back door was broken down. Doran fired off a handful of rounds in their direction.

"We need to get out of here!" she shouted still firing trying to cover their escape.

"C'mon Gus" Shawn said grabbing his friend by the collar of his bathrobe. As they were headed for the front door a gang member rushed them. He fired off one shot at Spencer before Lassiter pegged him in the chest. Amanda acted quickly and pushed Shawn through the door. They all managed to make it to the trees. Stopping to catch their breath they crouched behind the bushes. Doran analyzed their situation.

"Is everybody okay?" she asked reloading her gun. All three of her charges nodded. Amanda winced as she pulled her hand away from her leg. The moonlight shone enough for Doran to see there was blood on Amanda's hand.

"It'll be okay" she said. "We need to move" she took a step forward and winced. Doran shook her head.

"That looks pretty bad" she said handing her gun to Lassiter. "Let me help you walk"

"No" Amanda said "I'll just slow you down. I'll be fine, I have my weapon" her face was pale from the blood loss and her mouth was set in a thin line of determination. Doran was about to object again when she turned her head to look up into the sky.

"Can anyone else hear that?" she asked as the low thrum of a helicopter was heard over the stillness of the night.

"Where will they land?" Lassiter asked searching the sky for a visual.

"The only place to land is the driveway" Doran said looking over the bushes. She could see the remaining gang members on the porch talking quickly in Spanish. "There's only five left I think" she said "We could take them"

"Are you nuts?" Shawn and Gus asked at the same time. Before Doran could answer there was a flurry of gun fire and activity.


	8. Chapter 8

The steady beep of a heart monitor was the first thing Amanda heard as she slowly regained consciousness. As she opened her eyes she could see she was no longer outside in the cold, dark woods, but inside in what appeared to be a hospital room. She tried to move her arms and sit up but found she was too groggy to do so. She was able to lift her head a little and see that there was someone else in the room.

"Gus?" she said, the other person snapped out of his day dream and the sound of her voice. He held up one hand.

"Hang on" he left for a few minutes and then returned with Agent Doran and Detective Lassiter.

"Hey" Doran said coming over to the bed. She was smiling but her face was tense.

"Hey yourself" Amanda said smiling back. Then she furrowed her brows "Where's Shawn?" at that moment and mass of balloons and flowers came through the door.

"I hope there's enough, the gift shop lady thought I was nuts" behind the balloons Shawn Spencer's face peaked out. Amanda couldn't help but laugh because he was so cute.

"What happened?" she asked confusion coming back to her face "I remember arguing over whether or not I was going to be helped walking."

"You fainted from blood loss" Doran said "then the cavalry came and got the rest of the gang members. Spencer carried you to the chopper and we left"

"You carried me?" Amanda asked looking at Shawn. He nodded and then rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and through his hair.

"You know, I figured you pushed me out of the way of that bullet. Besides, Gus was too busy freaking out and Lassafrass was mooning over Doran's marksmanship"

"That is not true Spencer" Lassiter complained and then gave a sideways glance to Doran "Although he's right, that was some good shooting." He thought for another second "A girl with a gun is always attractive" Shawn and Amanda rolled their eyes and pretended to gag while Doran blushed a little but kept her smile.

"You didn't tell her the best news Shawn" Gus said changing the subject. Shawn looked at him.

"Oh right, since the guys in the gang practically tried to kill us all they don't need us to testify for the trial and they're compensating us for loss wages and giving us time off." He was beaming as he said this "and I can get us a great deal in the Bahamas. Think of it sun, sand surf. Shooting ranges" he said glancing at Lassiter and Doran who weren't paying attention but talking quietly to each other. They were standing very close, so close that their hands were touching slightly.

"That's what I'm thinking" Gus said "Shawn? Shawn!?!" but Shawn couldn't hear him, he was standing next to Amanda showing her all the cool balloons he'd gotten for her.


End file.
